Wanna Be Starting Something

there is just so much things to write! but i just don't have the push to express my idea and feelings lately. i dint become a boring person. i just feel so tired lately. pushing myself to get up and prove everyone who knows me well that i am ok. i feel better. i do. i guess its just one of those days where i just feel like shutting everyone down and do my own thing according to my own time. i dont feel very well lately. i have been enjoying my days resting at home and go to the gym in the morning. i wanna get that positive feeling again because it really feels nice knowing that you have everything in your hand and everything works perfectly. not being that snobbish or bossy kind of lady, but someone who do things right because of her positive attitude with the help of good vibe around her. i keep on telling myself to change for the better everyday. mostly it is for my parents and my other half. i know that i try to change everyday because i do it, and not by just saying it. i think i have been a very good kid who remembers God, who does whats right in life, but there is still part of me that i am not satisfied with. and i do not know what it is. i can think rationally like any one of u. like telling myself that nobody is perfect, or people make mistakes, that kinda thing, but i know with this one thing, i can be a better person. but i just dont know what it is. these are the things that i wanna achieve in life before i die which is to travel around the world and visit the 7 wonders, have the happiest family of my own, built an orphanage house or maybe an old folks home, be a Hajjah before i am old, and get a super bike. or maybe i should train myself to accept things and handle it as it comes. see, that it my problem, i think way to much unlike any other normal human being. and i know what to do and how to make myself better. than what is actually bothering me? some people think its something that i kept inside for a very long time and i just couldnt take it anymore that it explodes now. one advice i can give is, let it go. manage your stress well, and patience is a virtue but dont keep it to yourself. tell someone you trust about it.
sorry again for the lonnng break guys. not feeling well lately but i promise to come back with a positive attitude and great strenght!

ill be backkkkkkkkkk soooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnn promise guys!!! n sabaq sakinah dear! =)

Kid

aritu terserempak ngan kawan lamaaaa giler. i will never forget the moment when we bumped into each other. i remember this girl looking at me, and i looked at her not as though we both knew each other.. tengok muka sampai badan pusing 90degrees tu! literally macam nak cari pasal! its like i owe her something. rasa macam dia ''Along'' pun ada haha. then she called my name. ''Shara?!!!'', n i said '' Shima??!!!'' She used to give me this nickname Tun, sebab perangai kartun je dulu. Anyway that was when we hugged each other so tight! and looked at each other and hugged again! man, i really felt like crying! she had tears in her eyes and kissed my cheek. She was my childhood friend. We were tight! She was my bestfriend! Dulu kitaorang sekolah kampung kat N9 sekali.. The last time i met her was 9 years ago! Dulu mana ada handphone lagi. Still tulis surat nak keep in touch. =) that was cute. So i met her again yesterday for a drink after buka. We had a long chat, and opened up all the sweet and funny memories. She would cycle from her place to mine almost every afternoon, and my grandma would cook something for us to eat. Korang jangan ingat rumah dia dekat. Imagine Bangsar to Midvalley for a standard 6 kid with an uphill road? Kitaorang buat khemah sekali, but only using loads of umbrella to cover ourselves. We would sit in there for hours with our so called dessert, orang melayu kata jemput2 atau cekodok ye mak.. haha. Then cari bukit paling tinggi with an ''upih pinang'' just like Lat and his kid. and we would slide down, and ran up again and down again.. sigh, i miss it =(... Then after that we would walk to the club house and wait until nobody was around to jump in the swimming pool. Because we were not allowed to go in unless we have a swimming suit. And we dont. But we always get cought by the marshaller! haha. Masa kecik mana nak fikir give up. I miss it.. so much. soooo much!! We both cried when we had to separate and go to a different school. She was always there to protect me from the bullies. Love u Shim! That was a moment where we had no problems. Nothing to worry. Young and knew nothing about life. Now we both are going to stay in touch and cherish the friendship we once had <3

Dont Upset The Rhythm

I dont know where to start.

A friend told me that, she doesnt know how to change. She is frustrated with everything that is happening to her. She swears a lot now. Putting everyone she loves at the side regardless how close they once were. She is lost in the middle of nowhere. If only she has the energy to put her back in the circle. She is before a strong minded person, a very cheerful, and a very positive lady. She has all the good aura. But she is never satisfy with the way she looks. Other girls are much more prettier and outspoken then her. Other girls have that thing that makes people talk about, and wanted to be with. But she is never one of them. She can never be. She is always with her group of friends, that to her is her family too. But no matter what she can never open up her own sorrows to anyone of them. She is not secretive, but she is just someone who can listens to problems very well, but she finds it hard to open up her own. She is used to being strong for the people around her that she actually learn from their mistakes and became the person she is today. Sometimes I have this feeling that she is actually lonely inside. She needs someone that she can really talk to about anything. But she only does that to strangers. Anyone that she doesnt know at all. Maybe that guy who sits besides her at the bus stop, or the person standing next to her, reading a book. She finds them easy to talk to. Not knowing their past or present makes her realise that this is actually the people who she can make conversation with that always ended up with a smile. I wanna help her. I used to help this kind of people. I used to talk to them and make them realise that we only live once and we should always be grateful and make the best out of it. Do you know that certain behaviour that we have is actually a sickness? Something that we are lacking are making us acting the way we do. Weird acting people. People that surrounds them make a very big part of their behaviour. They can change them. They should help them by making them feel like they are part of us. Give them the confidence back. Negative thought are never good. No matter how strong we are, we can really fall, by negative thought. Especially from the people we are close with. If you love them, help them. She is my friend and i am going to help her.

22

Raff,

Happy 22nd Birthday n Congrats!

We love you loads.

I told you. That everything is going to be alright in the end.

I guess 2009 is a good year for you. And 22 is a good number for u.

That is equivalent to 4. And you passed your base check on the 4th.

Or 4/9. 4+9=13, 1+3=4.

4 is your lucky number! HAHAHA.

Good luck for your line training pulak! ;)

XXXX

Setahun Hanya Sekali

Ramadhan is just around the corner. I cant wait for this Raya. Maybe because itll be more meaningful now that I have someone I really love in my life. 1st raya with some good friends that actually became my bestfriends. Imagine how close we are altho we only got to kno each other for only about a year. Believe in me when I say that I know that they will be there for me thru thick and thin. Believe in me when I say that I am with someone that I am going to marry one day. Believe in me when I say that we will built our own family which will b surrounded with beautiful positive and happy people awk. We can do it awk.. Back to my friendship, bukan masa yang buat kitaorg rapat, tapi persefahaman. And luck too. Not everyone get to have a friendship that is nothing but base on sincerity. Not everyone get to be with their first love. I am lucky. Alhamdullilah. I am so grateful to be surrounded with funny weirdo people (haha), that maybe from the outsider we are just some uncool people haha. You know who you guys are. I cant be listing it down here incase there are some names that i dont wanna mention haha. Takde la.. Aritu baru balik pegi beli kain cotton nak buat baju kurung. Tak sabar nak buat! This raya if bole nak buat get together, each person bawak satu dish, semua pakai baju kurung bg lelaki, dan baju kurung bg perempuan(duh! hahahaha). Kalau tak jadi, ara siat2 korang. haha. Set a date yg semua free k. Raya pun sebulan. Unless you can give me a super good excuses for the whole month. Kalau tak, nak duit raya. I am listening to Situasi by Bunkface now. Not bad at all.. When I was a small kid, I used to memorise all the lyrics especially to Eminem. Rap je masa kecik. I memorised every word, every note, until that I could feel his emotions. Sekarang, hampeh. Tak de masa lansung... I wonder why sometimes we have to change as we grew older. We enjoyed it when we were small, so why cant we keep the feeling till we grow old. Rambut beruban putih, bongkok tiga, kulit berkedut... Mengapakah kita tidak bole rap sampai ke tua! MENGAPA! Ahahahahhahahhahaha.. Anyway.. I shud reallyy stop now... Im going to use this oppurtunity to wish everyone of you Selamat Berpuasa, semoga apa yang dilalui akan menjadi kebaikan di bulan suci ini.. Amin..

Spirit In The Night

Ya Allah lamanye tak update blog. Sorry korang. Masalah dalaman dan luaran. Not really haha. Korang pernah tak, rasa macam nak buat something but then tiba-tiba idea semua hilang. Everyday ni, nak je buat new post, da depan computer, terus blank. Maka dengan sebab itu lah saya tidak tulis blog selama berminggu mingguan. Arini baru je balik dari Tianjin, China. You guys heard about that place b4? It's very near to Beijing, and it takes approx. 45mins to get there by train. Remember one of my dream is to go to the 7 wonders of the world? Tak kira la nature ke apa. I just wanna go there. Something that I have to do before I die. Tapi tak pergi2 lagi. Comfirm korang ingat saya da pegi. Haha. Mana tak nye, departure pukul 1pagi. Time manusia tido la time tu jugak la saya kena kerja da bersengkang mata. Hahaha. Block time from KUL to TSN(Tianjin) is 6hours 25mins. Sampai pukul 7 lebih baru la sampai. Urat mata nak tercabut da kalau boleh hahaha. Da siap paperwork, tiba2 masuk la ground staff nak check passengers nye form etc for H1N1. Pastu naik transport pegi hotel which took us about 20mins. Driver semalam entah dari mana, tak tahu jalan gi hotel. Hahahaha. Da la drive macam 20km/hr. Macam bersiar siar la pulak haihhh dugaaann.. Mata da naik lebam ngan berair dah ni. Sampai2 hotel, makan breakfast jugak since perut da buat karaoke lagu keroncong mak timah. Kalau boleh nak je makan sambil tutup mata. Perut da alas, kaki pun seret la masuk bilik dan etc etc then pengsan! Konon nye nak bangun pukul 12pm sebab nak pegi Beijing gi Great Wall... Great Wall ntah ke mana, train ntah ke mana, lunch pun ntah kemana. But I ended up going to a place that I have never heard before, nama nak cakap pun susah. Captain buat lawak cakap kenapa la diaorang ni cakap macam ada Kuey tiaw dalam mulut ahahhaha. Mana tak tersembur gelak bila dengar tu. Tulisan rumi diaorang tak baca. Kena la mintak pekerja hotel tu tulis tulisan diaorg. It takes about 10 minutes from the hotel with the taxi. Better place, better food... Makan sotong bakar, lamb bakar, ketam goreng! Sedappppp yang amat... Ni baru siap2 nak tido.. Kesimpulan nye I am feeling very tired and numb right now. Hahaha. Missing everyone! As you see, I have been writing nothing but trash. Hahaha. Shows how tired I am. But no matter what, I am still deeply and always be inlove with flying!!! Take care everyone!!

PS. Fayi i received your email, All the best!!! You can do anything you set your mind too ;)