i think i lost a friend. i really do. we were so tight. probably it was all my fault. we're close like a brother and a sister. we laugh and even cry together. we were so close like that. but few months back i felt so much changes in him. probably because i hardly see him since he started working. and when i do see him, all i see is the gap that will grow. bit by bit. probably its just how i feel. probably he feels fine whenever he sees me. but whatever i saw before was an innocent humble young man. who will always keep his profile low no matter how successful he will be. that's why we were close at first. because that was all i wanted in a close friend. i admit that i choose my friends.... my mistake towards him was when i decided to advice him on the things that i know is wrong, from a religion point of view. i am not a saint, but i will always try to be a good muslim... and its my job to advice him. when u care for someone, u will always do your best to make the person happy and guide him/her on the right track...

it didnt end badly.. there was just no reply. up until now. it has been almost a month now. but if YOU read this, please know that i appreciate every single thing that you have done for me. your care, your never ending help, your jokes that made me laugh all the time, and your time. thank you for everything bro..

Non-Believer

salam everyone,

first of all, i would like to apologise for not updating my blog . life has been so hectic for me. it has been so stressful but i cant also deny there is also some happy moments in my life. i have been sooo busy flying for the past 6 months. it has been quite a roller coaster ride for me. my body starts to ache every time i get back from work. my sleeping patterns are just so crazy these days. wedding is just around the corner, but nothing much has been done. i just hate to be in this position where everything is just so last minute. everything is out of control. nothing is within my grasp. i need some moral support guys!

society man...! society!

i am planning for another trip to somewhere next year! i feel like going to Alaska to watch the band of Aurora Borealis also knows as The Nothern Lights. I have zero knowledge about that country accept that it is one of the coldest country in the world. One of my reason to go there is also because of my favourite movie that i watched for so many times called Into The Wild. I LOVE the movie. I can never get bored watching it. It is not only a good movie, but it also teaches you about life and family, it also tells you how to appreciate everyone around you. It is a true story about a guy named Christopher McCandless who gave up everything he had including money and family. I felt like i was him. There are so many things that i wanted to do, but i just dont have the courage like Chris. Sometimes, I just wanna leave everything behind and explore the world, just me and the nature. Meet new people and learn from their experiences in life and get to another place again and see new things. '' rather than money, than love, than faith, than fairness.. give me the truth'' this is one of his quote from the movie.

People wud say that it can only happen in the movie whenever i talk about this. But look at Chris. He did it! at the end he actually died alone. But that does not matter. To me, he actually fullfilled his dream, and nobody can actually be like him. brave enough to be him. And no one can take his incredible journey and experiences from him. And that is what i want in my life. He lived his life to the fullest.

Wayne: what's you facsination with all that stuff?

Chris: im going to Alaska.

Wayne: Alaska, Alaska? or city Alaska? Because they do have markets in Alaska. The city of Alaska. Not in Alaska.

Chris: no man. Alaska. Alaska. Im going to be all the way out there, all the way out there. just on my own. no watch, no map, no axe, no nothing. no nothing. just be out there. just be out there in it. you know, big mountains, rivers, sky, game. just be out there in it, you know? into the wild.

wayne: into the wild.

chris: just wild.

wayne: yeah, what are you doing when we're there? now you're in the wild, what are we doing?

chris: you're just living man, you're just there. in that moment. in that special place and time. maybe when i get back, i can write a book about my travels.

wayne: yeah, why not?

chris: you know, about getting out of this sick society. society!

wayne: society! society!

chris: society man. you know society! cause you know what i dont understand. i dont understand why people, every person is so bad to each other so often. it doesnt make sense to me. judgement. control. all that, the whole spectrum. well, it just..

wayne: what ''people'' we're talking about?

chris: you know. parents, hypocrites, politicians, pricks.

almost at the end of his life he came to a conclusion and wrote in his book that happiness only real when shared.

isnt that true? chris mccandless adopting the moniker, ''alexander supertramp'', you are one of my hero.

ONE , TO GO!

mama, A, abang, me, papa!

i am engaged!!!! i cant believe it myself! biar betul hahahha!! my cousin asked me a question on whether i felt anything different after the engagement... not at all! everything was the same. Alhamdullilah. i thot everything was going to be so serious after this. i thot i will lose my freedom etc. cried the week before. my mind was all over the place because i was so nervous! i guess that is one of the symptom ;) i did suffered the feeling where everyone felt before their engagement. i felt so nervous. my hands were shaking. it was sweating all day long. but i remember not talking much on that day. thats how i handle it. konon nye to keep it cool.. eventho it felt as tho my heart was going to explode!=( cuak kapak.....
to the people that i dint get to invite, i need to say sorry! the space was so small that i had to invite only 15 of my friends. close ones of course. lain smua family members on both side! but.. kahwin i promise to invite everyone ok! below are the pics that i would like to share with everyone. as promised! =)

ha, this was the time where i was shakiingggg!

my bff aedi n lucky. this is wat i call friendship. not the picture. them! haha. no one can replace them..

lena nisa n yi. my classmates from high school! everyone thot i was the last person to get married. they thot wrong! ;) i actually didnt expect this too =)

mama sarung cincin!

for now...
time to save money for next year! =)

Megaphone

i am too irritated by my neighbour staying on top of me. they can be too loud at odd hours. pelik bin ajaib. parents pun buat dekkk aje. nak je bagi silat gayong kat sekor sekor.. haihhh! manusia manusia. bermacam2 macam manusia. sabor je la... nak je complain kat management. tapi rasa tak baik pulak... so arini, da la demam, badan rasa berpeluh, ari da la tak best, mmg la diaorg kena. bukak tingkap bilik. kita pun ckp omputih la. escusme, escusme! u r too loud! we need to sleep! keep quiet! ha.... keno koooo sebijikkkkk.. senyappp. terus cam tak de penghuni pun ada. padan muko ada orang sound... tak tau nye yg sound ni badan kecik, tolak pun terus terbang 1km. kalau nasib baik 2 km pun bole....

In Progress

what can i do with rm30 in my savings? can i even take that amount of money out from the atm machines? i am broke... yeap... i really am... but taking 6 months unpaid leave was not a stupid decision i made. not at all. i am not regretting it. i never will..

1.i traveled around europe =)

2.i am mentally stable =)

3.i am a better daughter =)

4.i am a better person, from all aspects =)

5.i choose things wisely =)

6.i accepted that friends can turn out to be sumbody else =(

but the most important thing is that, i am beginning to love myself again! Alhamdullilah..

flying has really change my life. it really did. i am more matured now. i think differently than the people with my age. i see new things when i get to travel. i learn more about the aircraft which makes it always interesting and fun to fly. i hope i will never get bored of it and be an instructor one day. InsyaAllah.

Lately all i wanna do is to be in a quiet and peaceful environment. Dont mind staying at home! I hate being around people who loves to talk about others. Rasa dosa sangat being around them. They criticize others from top to bottom without actually knowing that person. Mula2 ok, but lama2 rasa pelik n boring pun ada with that kind of people. Honestly. Nobody is perfect. Be a low profile person and be nice to one another. Thats all im asking for. That is why it is so important to choose your friends or you will end up being like them. They are smart people, but yeah, its really a waste.... it really is... sigh.... Sorry to say but guys do that more ;) Ok, certain guys =)

Life is too short to waste it just like that. It is not a good way to enjoy your life. You lose everything or you end up gaining nothing. But if that is the type of enjoyment they get when meet each other, than all i am going to do is to stay away from that kinda people. Dont think i will end up losing anything!

I have no idea why i ended up talking about this. Maybe i experienced it before. I just think that people are drifting away from the good things in life...

RUGIIIKANNN?? =) takpe kita jangan jadi macam diaorg ok?! =D

New Start

Heyyyyy people. how is everyone doing? life has been hactic for me i guess. or maybe its just an excuse for me for not writing a blog :) well, maybe it was a little hactic. i have been waiting for almost a month now to fly. the volcano eruption was one of the reason why my schedule was never fixed. n then there was a problem with the rostering. i believe it is a blessing in disguise. i will take it that way, as the new me will be more positive!

Alhamdullilah, i am slowly coming out from the stress that i have been having. I have discarded the people who have had contributed to the pain that i had, and also hypocrites that i thot will somehow change but never did. and people who are too emotional to think about others and became selfish. being patient is not always the right thing to do. once they take you for granted, they might do it again, and people like that are always hard to change. they will cause you pain or add up to your stress. Get to know a person reallly well, before you decide to call them a friend. that is my advice to all of u. sometimes the time spent makes you think that they are a good friend of yours. but you never know the reason why they are keeping in touch with you. they might have a motive that you will never know until the truth comes out.

Anyway, quit with the negative vibes huh! ;)

I am in the mood to write a blog again since today is the start of a good relationship between me and my other half. it is official now that i am not single! :) my future father in law InsyaAllah, came with a couple to our house to do something we call ''merisik'' in malay. On my side there was my parents n abang n two other couple. Everything went smoothly! Everything was planned and when the time comes i will write a blog about it again about my engagement that will be held in 3 months! Suddenly it feels so near! time flies.

To build a family has always been one of my dream. I have achieved what i wanted and i believe flying is in the top list for now. But once i am married, i have to know how to devide the time for my family and my career. One of my dream too, is to become an instructor. I hope i can achive that soon. I have always think that i can be a good instructor to the fresh pilots. To make sure that they really enjoy flying is one of the reason why i wanted to be that. Not only to pour the knowledge that i have, but to also build the joy towards it. I promise myself not to be the instructor that people are scared of or talk about. I want them to talk about me because they enjoy flying with me. We'll see. The day will come i am very sure of that. Kalau tak, be the captain that people enjoy flying with pun ok :) Because for now i know that flying will always be fun and relaxing if we have a good, nice captain n cabin crew together with us on the same flight.

Ni da melalut da niii! anyway korangg, i am back n see you soon!!

safe flight and be safe to wherever you are..